The
majority of the time Michael was in the hospital, I was, somehow, able
to maintain my composure and keep the tears and the fear inside, in
order to be strong for him. Not sure how I was able to pull that off,
normally I'm not able to control the waterworks. Today has been the day
to let them out, without the worry of criticism. As I watched my
Daughter's car pull away, with the accumulation of his necessary things,
I held up
my hand in the "I love you" sign, came inside and stripped his bed,
still fresh with his scent, put the sheets in the washing machine and
will try to move forward.
I have purposely not been posting updates, although I have privately answered, by email, anyone asking about him. Michael has been doing well, testing his ability to try to get back to a semi-normal life by making weekend trips to his home. He has only had one hospitalization, after the first trip and that, thankfully, was only over night. They suspected he had a gastrointestinal bleed. He didn't.
He started back to work (in the office, rather than in the field) the Tuesday after Memorial Day. His cousin has been driving him, since driving is something he's not supposed to do. I have know for quite some time that he was going to move back to his house and have been dreading the thought of not being able to control supervise oversee take care of him. As hard as it has been and as many times as we have locked horns and had our verbal fisticuffs, I do love him and only want the best for him. My hope is that he wants that for himself. He will push the limits, doing things he knows he shouldn't, just to prove he can. That's the way he is and nothing in my power will change that.
He may be out of my home, but will never be out of my heart.
Thank you to everyone that has asked about him, prayed for him and given me moral support and a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate it more than I will ever be able to convey with words.
He received a letter May 17th, confirming he had been placed on the transplant list. There IS still hope his heart will heal and a transplant won't be necessary.
PLEASE TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF... AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR FEET THAT I'VE WORKED SO HARD ON. And, as much as you hate it, call your mother occasionally and let her know you're okay. Okay?
